Random Bits

• The Man has gone back to work.  We miss him, but you know.  Keeping democracy safe is a full time job.  (I still think he ought to be allowed to work from home.)
• I like peaches on my waffles.

Buttermilk Waffles (from the 1975 edition of Farm Journal’s Country Cookbook)

2 cups sifted flour

3 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

2 cups buttermilk

4 eggs

1 cup melted butter (yes, that’s one cup)

Sift together dry ingredients in a large bowl.  In separate bowl, beat eggs until fluffy, then stir in buttermilk.  Add the milk and egg mixture all at once to dry ingredients.  Beat at high speed just enough to moisten dry ingredients.  Stir in the butter, then bake according to your waffle iron’s instructions.  These waffles are amazingly similar to The Best Pancakes He’s Ever Had, so if you don’t have a waffle iron, make the pancakes instead.  They’re delicious.

• Anemone and I have been down with the flu for the past several days.  We were on the mend, but then The Man brought home news that put us both back in bed.
• He has orders to Hawaii.
• Hawaii.
• Somehow I tripped over Elizabeth Esther’s Saturday Evening Blog Post, in which everyone is supposed to promote her favorite blog post from the last month.  I submitted An Old Wrong Righted because it made The Man laugh.  Plus I talked about my underwear.  Can’t go wrong with that, right?
• I took The Goobs to the South Carolina Confederate Relic Room and Military Museum and didn’t make them write a report afterwards.  That was a big deal for me.  

• Hold on a minute!  I’m moving to Hawaii!  
• Hawaii! 
• I’m supposed to be Walking Across America right now, but I’m a slacker.  Don’t worry, I’ll catch up during my quest to develop a beach body by February.  Ha!  Hahahahahahahaha!

Homemade Yogurt

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to make homemade yogurt.  It's never been a deep, burning desire, just a little tickle at the back of my mind.  I've never even liked yogurt.  I just wanted to see if I could manage making it at home - you know, just one more way of sticking it to The Man.  (Not MY man, of course.  I mean The Establishment.  Can you dig it?)

Last year a friend received a yogurt maker appliance thing for Christmas, and she said the yogurt was wonderful.  Wow!  For a moment I was consumed with longing - how I wished I had received a yogurt maker appliance thing! - but then I moved on to other things and forgot all about it. 

Now, my mom has gone all "back to the basics" on me since my dad dragged her back to the farm, so she's always canning or freezing or fermenting something.  She doesn't like me to help in the kitchen (I'm a slob and it drives the OCD in her crazy) so as she was preparing raspberry syrup I was sitting at the counter chatting and looking through her cookbooks.  Well.  There was a recipe for yogurt made in your backyard.  And on the back of your wood stove.  And in your oven. 

AND IN YOUR CROCKPOT.

The recipes to make yogurt outside and on your wood stove and in your oven were fine, but the crockpot one was missing a key part of the instructions - how long to let it sit?  I didn't worry about it; I figured that if it was in a cookbook, I'd be sure to find something similar on google.  I was right.  Thanks to Stephanie O'Dea of A Year of Slow Cooking, I found out You Can Make Yogurt in Your Crockpot!  And as soon as I got home, I went to work.

I didn't take pictures of the process because Stephanie did a fine job of it and because, well, it was milk.  In the crockpot.  It just sat there being milky, and it was pretty boring.  At least, it was until the next morning, when I sent The Goobs into hysterics with my cries of, "Holy SHIT!  It's YOGURT!"  Too bad I don't have video of that, right?

I've made four batches now, and The Goobs have devoured every bit of it.  No more little plastic Yoplait containers for us!  I followed the recipe exactly the first time, and since then I've been fiddling with it.  The last batch was the best, so I'll give you that recipe.

Homemade Yogurt

• 1/2 gallon whole milk
• 1 cup plain yogurt (to use as a starter)
• 2/3 cup powdered milk
• a little less than 2 tablespoons vanilla
• a little less than 1/2 cup sugar

Pour the whole milk into the crockpot, and cook on low for two and a half hours.  Unplug the crockpot and let sit for three hours.  Whisk together the plain yogurt, powdered milk, vanilla and sugar and stir into the milk in the crockpot.  Wrap the crockpot in towels and let sit overnight.  If you find that the yogurt is too wet (we think it is), line a colander with coffee filters and set it over a large bowl or pot.  Dump the yogurt into the colander, cover the colander with paper towels or plastic wrap or whatever, and put the whole shebang into the refrigerator.  Let sit for a couple of hours, or until enough whey has drained to give you the texture you like.  We like ours about the same consistency of sour cream. 

For each jar of yogurt, I chopped up two strawberries and mashed them together with a just a little extra sugar (the yogurt pictured is the first batch, which was plain and very sour - that's why there's so much sugar syrup in the strawberries!).  Then I dumped in yogurt until it more or less hit the 6 oz. line. 

The first time I made it, I kept back one cup to make the second batch.  The second batch was even more sour than the first, so for the third batch I went back to the big tub of plain Dannon yogurt I had in the fridge.  I used that for the fourth batch, too, but next time I will try using the vanilla flavored yogurt as a starter to see what happens.

The Goobs seriously love this stuff.  I'm going to have to try making it with lowfat milk before they start looking like narwhals.

Granola

2 pound bag of rolled oats

4 cups assorted nuts and seeds - this time I used chopped pecans and hazlenuts, slivered almonds and sunflower, flax, sesame and poppy seeds

about 1/2 cup wheat germ (this small bit of wheat germ helps me pretend my granola is healthy)

salt - my sunflower seeds were salted, so I didn't need very much

cinnamon to taste

about 3/4 of a one pound box of dark brown sugar

enough of a mix of honey, real maple syrup, and canola oil to make everything stick together

vanilla - I just dumped some in. two teaspoons? three?

Spread onto a cookie sheet (use one with a lip) and bake at 350 degrees until brown, stirring every ten minutes or so. I have to make this in three batches.

After your granola cools, add whatever dried fruit you like (I like raisins and craisins) in whatever amount you like. Store in an airtight container.

Even The Man and Anemone like it. JellyMan isn't there yet, but he won't have much of a choice once his Cheerios run out. Ha.

Brioche Loaves

This recipe is from Ina Garten's Barefoot in Paris.  It makes great french toast.  The dough needs to sit overnight in the refrigerator, so start it the day before you need it.

1/2 c warm water (110 to 120 degrees)

1 pkg dried yeast

3 tbsp sugar

6 extra-large eggs, at room temperature

4 and 1/4 c unbleached flour

2 tsp kosher salt

2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 egg mixed with 1 tbsp milk, for egg wash

Combine the water, yeast, and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment.  (If the bowl is cold, start with warmer water so it's at least 110 degrees when you add the yeast.)  Mix with your hands and allow to stand for 5 minutes until the yeast and sugar dissolve.  Add the eggs and beat on medium speed for 1 minute, until well mixed.  With the mixer on low speed, add 2 cups of the flour and the salt and mix for 5 minutes.  With the mixer still on low, add 2 more cups of four and mix for 5 more minutes.  Still on low speed, add the soft butter in chunks and mix for 2 minutes, scraping down the beater, until well blended.  With mixer still running, sprinkle in remaining 1/4 cup of flour.  Switch the paddle attachment to a dough hook and mix on low speed for 2 minutes.  Scrape the dough into a large buttered bowl and cover with plastic wrap.  Refrigerate overnight.

The next day, allow the dough to sit at room temperature for 1 hour.  Grease two loaf pans.  Turn the dough onto a lightly floured board and cut in half.  Pat each portion into a 6x8" rectangle, then roll up each rectangle into a cylindrical loaf.  Place each loaf, seam side down, into a greased pan.  Cover the pans with a damp towel and set aside to rise at room temperature until doubled in volume, 2 to 2 and 1/2 hours.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.  When the loaves have risen, brush the top of each with the egg wash and bake for 45 minutes, or until the top springs back and it sounds slightly hollow when tapped.  Turn the loaves out onto a wire rack to cool.

I like to make several loaves worth of french toast and stick the slices in the freezer.  The Goobers can just pop them in the toaster.

THE BEST PANCAKES HE'S EVER HAD

Let me begin this story by saying that I am a Bisquick pancake kind of gal. I grew up with it, it works, I'm happy. Okay, now for my story (recipe follows).

Once upon a time, The Man came home all excited because he had THE BEST PANCAKES EVER at an office breakfast fundraiser. He waved the recipe in my face and expected me to just drop everything and make these pancakes for dinner. I was most indignant, and justifiably so, as I had been very happy staring out the window and pretending I lived a life in which I was not expected to cook for anybody. So I distracted him with the fancy Bisquick pancakes. You know, the ones that are doctored up with lemon juice and baking powder. The Man was happy. I was not quite happy because I had to make pancakes, but I was close enough to it that life went on in the usual fashion.

Fast forward several years later (okay, nine years later) and I find the recipe for THE BEST PANCAKES HE'S EVER HAD stuck between the pages of my least favorite cookbook. I have used this cookbook maybe twice in the last 10 years, and I have regretted it every time, but I haven't thrown it away because it is a cookbook and you just never know when you're going to want to make a molded salad with cauliflower and lima beans. All right, I made that last part up, but it isn't far from what is actually in the cookbook. So I find this recipe, and decide to trade THE BEST PANCAKES HE'S EVER HAD for a McDonald's Coke, because I am thirsty and somehow making pancakes seems a whole lot easier than driving to McDonald's myself.

First I gather up the dry ingredients, which include:

I combine them, and I actually consider sifting them together like the recipe says, but then I come to my senses. He's bringing me a Coke, not a bracelet. Oops! Instead of four teaspoons of sugar, I add four tablespoons of sugar. I like sugar, so I get over it. Then I gather up the wet ingredients, which include:

The blueberries are not on the list of ingredients, but I decide to try it out because I don't want to make the pie I bought the blueberries for.

The directions say, "Beat eggs until the doubles in voluoom." I kid you not. I am just a simple Bisquick gal so I am not quite sure what that means, but I give it my best shot. I beat the eggs with my wire whisk until my arm actually falls off, but the eggs haven't doubled in voluoom. So I go on a wild and crazy hunt through my "all the extra crap" baskets, which iswhere I store all the extra crap:

for the beaters for my handmixer - no easy task if your arm has just fallen off. After I beat the eggs into submission, I mix in the buttermilk, a little bit peeved that this recipe requires that I use an entire quart of buttermilk. I hope that The Man brings me a McDonald's not-fried apple pie to go with my Coke. (Just so you know, the ones in Korea still fry their apple pies. That's enough to plan a vacation around.)

Now I combine the dry ingredients with the buttermilk/egg mixture with as few strokes as possible, which adds up to 20 strokes. Someone a little less thorough could do better. The batter is lumpy, but that is a good thing. Now I fold in my 4 tablespoons of melted butter with as few strokes as possible. Oddly enough, that adds up to be 20 strokes as well. Again, someone else could do better.

The Man brings me my Coke, for which I am ever grateful, and we try the first batch of pancakes only to discover that blueberries are not on the list of ingredients for a very good reason. I should have made the pie. Not to worry; there is enough batter here to feed an army, so I make a gazillion plain pancakes and stack them high.

Are they still THE BEST PANCAKES HE'S EVER HAD? No. But they are better than Bisquick, and they taste awfully good with Coke.

The Short Version (edited to keep you from crying over the state of our public schools)

3.5 C flour

2 tsp baking soda

3 tsp baking powder

4 tsp sugar

2 tsp salt

4 eggs

4 C buttermilk

4 tbsp melted butter

1. Combine dry ingredients, then sift them together

2. In a large bowl, beat eggs until doubled in volume; mix in buttermilk

3. Add dry ingredients to buttermilk mixture with as few strokes as possible (batter will be lumpy) then fold in melted butter with as few strokes as possible

4. Bake on a hot griddle